Frequently Asked Questions

Appendix · Questions, asked frequently

Frequently Asked Questions

Was this incident real?

Yes.

Are you sure?

I am no longer willing to engage with that question.

What did Mr. Musk smell like?

Sour Mango Altoids and digital shame.

An earlier record said peppermint. Which is it?

Sour Mango. The matter is addressed in the footnotes to The Incident and will not be reopened here.

Are you still upset?

I am at peace with what happened to me. I will not pretend it did not happen.

What would resolve this?

A simple acknowledgement of my pain.

Are you considering legal action?

No.

Was the postdated check honored?

I have made a deliberate choice not to find out. See Accession No. CCC.2001.002.

Has Mr. Musk apologized?

Not as of this writing.

Will you update this page if he apologizes?

Yes. Most of the page will probably stay the same, but the FAQ will be modified.

Why did you wait twenty-five years to publish anything about this?

I did not want to seem petty.

Why are you publishing it now?

I have reconsidered.

Is the Cumberland Farms on N. Main Street still there?

Yes.

Have you returned?

No.

Why is this a whole museum?

Because the alternative was to mention it at dinner, repeatedly, for the rest of my life. This is more dignified and can be left.

How can I contact the curator?

You cannot. This is settled in the Provenance and is not a question so much as a misunderstanding of the institution.

Why am I always visitor № 1?

Because you are. Everyone is. The matter is explained, to the extent it can be, in the Reading Room.

Closing Remarks

Should this domain ever be demanded for purposes which I do not currently anticipate: it remains unavailable. In the meantime it will continue to serve its present function: as a quiet, formal acknowledgment that something occurred which I have not forgotten, and that I have chosen to handle the matter in this way rather than any other.

— Onion Madder
Curator, sole
The Concord Curatorial Collection